My kids, who are fifth-graders, are starting to use gay as an insult. And it often genuinely upsets the other student. And it's hard to know how to respond. I do not want students to be insulting each other in any case, but saying another person is gay is 1) not an especially good insult in any case (some Shakespearean insult would be much better, such as "[Thou hath] not so much brain as ear wax"--still problematic for discipline but better). But it is also 2)hard to deal with because it is a touchy subject. I do not want to get involved in the political side of the word gay--parents hold much of this responsibility. But 3)it could be isolating for many students. I do not want any LGQTBA student to feel alone or hated, and I do not want any student, gay or straight, to be plagued by their fellow students with a supposed stigma for their academic career (yes, Mean Girls does come to mind).
So what are some solutions if you are the homeroom instructor? Do you underplay it, "Oh, you mean they're happy? Heeheehee!" (a sub tried this model)? Or do you do a quick recap of what makes a human a human (y'all like Ellen Degeneres, right? Well, guess what.)? Or do you ignore the term itself and go to the intent behind the insult? (Yo! Kids, be nice to each other.)
I wouldn't say to "ignore the term," but there is something to be said for addressing the intent. An insult is an insult, and students need to respect one another. I think one way to handle it is simply to say, "Gay does not mean stupid or silly. If you are using it as an insult, that is inappropriate and offensive, and will not be tolerated in this classroom." You could also address it in a way that creates a conversation (one that would likely be uncomfortable for the student using "gay" as a slur) by asking the student who used it as an insult what they meant by "gay"? Regardless of their response, you can let them know that it is not up to them to comment on another student's mood or sexuality, and that they need to be more aware of how they are using their words.
ReplyDeleteIt definitely is a touchy subject, and if it becomes a prevalent and consistent issue, it may be worth having a more in-depth dissuasion about what the word means to different people. If it seems to be more in passing, I would say as long as it's made clear to the students that it's not okay to use the word in that way, then that is all you need to do to ensure the situation is under control.