Sometimes I find myself feeling extremely sad when hearing about some of my student's lives at home. You can easily tell that there are some students that are greatly affected by their home environment and that their learning and behavior is impacted in a negative way. For example, one student comes into school with dirty clothes everyday and can not possibly sit still and follow directions. My teacher told me that he has no guidance or attention at home. Although this student misbehaves daily and most of the time deserves to "clip down," or be sent to the principal, it is hard to blame him for his behavior. It is extremely sad that this student's life is effected in this negative way.
Additionally, whenever we clip down a student or write a note on their folder about their behavior, they often cry and complain that they are going to be "spanked," or in so much trouble at home. Because of this they beg us to clip them back up and are sad the rest of the day. This is honestly very unfortunate and is not our intention at all. We do not want students to simply strive to clip up because they wouldn't get in trouble. We want them to understand why good behavior is ideal and that they should behave no matter what the consequences are. There are times that I want to clip them back up to save them from the possible punishment they are going to get. However, that would just teach them that they can complain and cry to get what they want. Instead, we look for positive behavior the rest of the day and clip them back up if it is deserved. However, we make sure to have a conversation about what they need to do better and why. It is not a teacher's attention to punish a student. We just want to encourage positive behavior and have them understand why it is important.
I feeeel yaaaaa. I have a student who has been a "behavior problem" as long as I've been with this class. Their class has a point system, and if I tell him I'm taking away points, he says he doesn't care. The students have to take home a weekly report of their points for their parents to sign, and he said his parents don't care about that, either--they'll just sign it and won't do anything if his behavior was bad.
ReplyDeleteToday, I was talking to his teacher about it and she told me his family has been homeless this year, and she doesn't blame his parents for having other concerns besides his behavior points from school (and honestly, I don't really, either). She suggested making a special deal with him, and I took her advice. I pulled him aside after school, showed him his points from the day (he's at -4...), and told him if he gets X number of points by the end of the week, I'll bring in a treat for the whole class on Friday. (Part of the deal is that he can't tell anyone or the deal is off.) He was immediately PSYCHED about this and agreed. It's not exactly the intrinsic motivation we want for behavior, but this is the kind of kid that can really influence the people around him, so I'd honestly be happy to see it improve by pretty much any means. We'll see if this works, and if it does, whether I can get the good behavior to continue without bribing him with brownies. TBD.
I have definitely experienced this as well! Last Monday I took on the third of four homerooms that come to us for social studies. One of the girls who never misbehaves was acting up and refusing to do her work or stop messing with her hairbrush and scribbling on her desk. Because I hadn't taught this particular class until this day, I assumed that she was acting out and not listening to me because I had never "been in charge" for them before. I was very frustrated and continuously came back up to her pushing her to get to work. My teacher ended up pulling her outside for a moment to talk to her. I assumed that she was telling her that she needed to respect me as a teacher as well. However, after that class period, my teacher informed me that when she spoke to the girl, she found out that she and her family had been kicked out of their apartment over the weekend and didn't have a place to stay. I was absolutely heartbroken and felt so terrible for assuming the worst. That just goes to show how important it is to keep up to date with our students and demonstrate our genuine caring and interest in what's going on in their lives outside of school. You never know the "why" behind their behavior unless you ask and get to know them.
ReplyDeleteDana - we talked about this at dinner a little this weekend and I have been reflecting more about it recently. It reminds me a lot of Professor Grenier's management class and I really agree with what Mary-Lloyd was saying. It truly is SO hard to find the answer for every little thing we consider a misbehavior, and often the answer does lie in something totally removed from the school environment. And it's hard because it seems like there is nothing we can do. I think as student teachers, especially coming in during the second half of the year, there's not a lot we can just jump in and implement in this particular area. As future teachers, however, we just have to remember that we can be a huge source of stability and love in our students' lives. And if this means going above and beyond, putting in more time than usual, and striving to create an environment that students can rely on for compassion - well, we knew we were signing up for that. And, Dana, I have no doubt that you will find ways to help students like these in your future classrooms, because the care and determination you exhibit for your students is so transparent.
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