"My Child Is Special..."

I recently got a new student at my second placement. He transferred to this school because he and his mother recently moved here so that his mom could teach at this school.

At the risk of sounding superficial...he's a cute kid. Honestly, he has such a rosy, sweet face and long curly hair, that when he stood at the classroom door on his first day, I thought he was a little girl at first.

This student is rambunctious, a little dramatic, and very creative. He LOVES to dance, and he constantly craves attention (which often leads to issues with his behavior). He frequently speaks or shouts out of turn in order to get attention from adults and students alike, and will say silly, bathroom-humor jokes, or just wonder random thoughts aloud.

Yesterday afternoon, his mother approached me after school. She said that, since he was born, she had known 'her boy was special'. She said she’d always known he was ‘special’. (She kept using this word like a euphemism…as if she were searching for a more fitting term but couldn’t think of the appropriate word.) She said that because of this, she had always encouraged him to be true to himself. I wondered where this was going….

Mama Bear:

“I don’t think it was you, actually, so I would love if you would pass this on to [my mentor teacher], but the other day [student who is her son aka BearCub] got into the car and said that he had mentioned to other students, ‘I wish I was a girl’. So they started making fun of him because he said that, and he said that when he told the teacher, the teacher said, ‘Well maybe you shouldn’t have said that.’ And I just wanted you guys to be aware that BearCub is special and I don’t think he should feel bad or try to hide who he is.”

So here is what I’m thinking. Clearly I was not involved in this exchange that BearCub had reported to his mother. I do know that BearCub enjoys ‘the shock factor’, but I do agree with Mama Bear that her son should not hide who he is.

I responded with some of these thoughts, saying that I wasn’t aware of the exchange, but what likely happened was that my mentor teacher was trying to ask BearCub to work on not shouting out when he shouldn’t be talking in class more than trying to stifle his individuality. I thanked her for sharing her feelings and this personal information about her son, and said we would be vigilant and aware of his individuality, and reinforce her encouragement for him to be exactly who he is.

I think she was happy with my response, and I tried to maintain professional and respectful language, but it WAS an awkward exchange!

I’m still unclear what she was referencing by saying that her son was ‘special’. My guess is his sexuality? Or orientation? Something that, I honestly do not think is quite relevant for 9 year olds, but do seriously respect.

I’m just curious to see if any of you guys had situations like this (probably with older students) during either of your placements. It can be a really sensitive subject, so I’m curious to see how other people handle it, and if they think I handled it appropriately in turn!